Monday, June 16, 2008

Me, mE, ME!!! (dad took the camera so there are no pictures)

I really have a hard time writing anything on my blog anymore, I feel like there are only so many poses the boys can make and everything they do is "almost" this or that. So I am writing this post to let every one know what going on with ME! It will hopefully be informational instead of egotistical. So I am not going to go to school this semester because I didn't get the financial aid in time. So I am getting everything worked out for fall semester. I have enough prereq's that I will be in school full time fall, winter, spring and possible next summer. Then if I get into the Nursing program, Which is what I am working for, I will start hopefully then next fall for 2 years.
I am going to try getting a job until school starts in September. Which means putting the boys in daycare:( Things have really spiraled out of control between me and the kids father, since he decided he doesn't want to give money for the kids and me I am forced to do things on my own. This means that he gives up his right to see the kids. So today I have started looking into custody papers and the things that requires. Which is more than I realized but I feel is necessary. The time has come to stop feeling so alone and get things together so that I can find someone, you know someone who cares, love and wants to help out. I really feel the Lord helps me on a daily basis. I feel stronger and happier. I have more self confidence, anyways my life has been out of control for the last 6 months but I feel better, not tip top but I am getting there.

I knew that having kids would be hard and everyone said it, but I believed that Aron was going to be there for us not just financially but emotionally and physically. It turns out that People can be a lot stronger then they realize when you least expect it but I also believe that can only last so long before things demand a change. Although people look at me and see that I did things all wrong I am positive that in the end it will work out. I seem to be in it for the long haul!!! Besides I can say I got the best part of Aron and it's the 2 handsome, happy Babies that I get to be with everyday!

3 comments:

Ro's Lumpy Breast said...

Kendall, I am so glad you feel comfortable letting us know what is going on. I hope you know how much we or I love you. We like to know what is going on because we love you not because we are noses. O.k. some of us are more noses then others. Life is hard everyone makes mistakes or different choices good or bad and learns different things from them. I am glad that you are lerning from Aaron and from the boys. I am most excited that you are feeling better about your situation and that you have a plan of action. I am also so happy that Heavenly Father has been and is a part of your life and desicions. I think that you do a wonderful job with your boys and I am sure you will continue to.

Niki Carter said...

Oh Kendall, I am sorry. Reality sucks sometimes! You are right, you did get the best of him and now it is time to move on to better things. You deserve the best and I hope that you won't settle for less. I hope you don't mind that I check your blog. You look great and your boys are such cuties. You can make it! My Aunt put herself through college and graduate school as a single mom of two. She is now happily remarried with 6 kids!!! Wow! Things will work out. Keep your self confidence in tact and don't settle! Wish you the best! Niki

Chauntel said...

I love your new photo and video. I'm sorry about Aaron and school. I'm glad you have a plan. I think nursing is a great idea. Hopefully you and Kim can do the program together. I love you and good luck finding a job.